


One and Lonely

by lokit5083



Category: Class (TV 2016), Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Guilt, Head Kisses, M/M, Sad Boy(tm), Survivor Guilt, love me these boys, midnight talks, soft times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 15:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokit5083/pseuds/lokit5083
Summary: Matteusz wakes up alone.





	One and Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> kochany is polish for dear/beloved

The first thing Matteusz noticed when he woke up was the distinct lack of warmth beside him. Charlie was gone. That realization was enough to chase away the fog in his head, which left him as a sigh. His limbs heavy from sleep, he forced himself into a sitting position, giving the room a quick and unsuccessful scan for his missing boyfriend. He didn’t want to overreact, working himself into a panic just for Charlie to come back and have to talk him down. No, that wouldn’t do anyone any good, so instead he took a breath and forced himself to wait.

Minutes passed with neither sight nor sound of Charlie, so, with another sigh, Matteusz got out of bed, trying to subdue the growing, yet (hopefully) groundless worries. He would have known if something had happened, wouldn’t he? People don’t just  _ disappear _ . Probably. And besides, even if the likelihood of something happening wasn’t exactly  _ slim _ , he was probably fine. The room was as it had been when they went to sleep, and if anything had happened it probably would have left evidence. That made sense. Matteusz let out a huff, dragging himself out of his worries. Wherever Charlie was, he’d never find him if he stood next to the bed and worried about it for the rest of the night.

He started moving, down the small set of stairs in front of the bed and to the doorway, where he stopped. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary from where he was standing, so he started down the hall. The dark silence, both eerie and peaceful, continued past where Quill slept (she did  _ sleep _ , didn’t she?), and cast the stairs in a deep shadow untouched by the dim glow of streetlights that leaked from the door Matteusz had left open behind him.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Matteusz found the lower floor to be much brighter, both from the light spilling in from the windows, and the light coming from the open front doorway. The latter sent a jolt of panic through him, but it faded when he saw the Charlie-shaped silhouette sitting on the front step. Then, instead of fear, Matteusz felt a deep concern.

“Charlie,” he sighed, closing the distance between himself and the door.

That got the other’s attention, and he turned his head to look at Matteusz and give him a small smile, which, unfortunately, did little to easy his worry.

Moving directly behind Charlie, who had returned his gaze to the sky, Matteusz leaned silently against the doorframe, concerned eyes settled on the boy at his feet. He wanted to offer comfort, but he wasn’t sure what to say. That, and he figured that if Charlie had wanted to talk about what had him up, he would have woken him in the first place. So, since there didn’t seem to be any problem that demanded immediate attention, Matteusz was content to wait for Charlie to talk first-- whether it was to tell him what was wrong, or to ask him to leave.

Minutes passed, silent except for the sounds of the city at night. It would have been peaceful, had Matteusz not been worried, and Charlie not lost in his thoughts. There would always be other nights for peace, though.

“The stars are different here.”

“Ah,” sighed Matteusz, moving, finally, to sit down next to Charlie on the cold stone, “this is about your home.” He wasn’t being accusatory or belittling, but simply stating the fact aloud.

Charlie nodded.

“If you wanted to look at the stars, why did you come all the way down here, when there is a wall of your room made of glass?” asked Matteusz, placing an arm around Charlie’s shoulders.

“I didn't want to wake you,” Charlie replied, leaning against Matteusz, who let out a soft sigh.

“But here I am,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Charlie’s head and raising his hand to rest against the other side of it, fingers threading through his hair.

“Here you are,” Charlie exhaled, a moment passing before he put his arms around the other’s torso, almost defeatedly.

Matteusz shifted, pulling Charlie closer and turning his body towards him so he could rest his chin on his head, “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, though he assumed that if Charlie had wanted to talk, he would have done so in the first place. Still, he figured it was worth a try.

“What more is there to say?” responded Charlie, eyes still on the stars above them. Maybe, thought Matteusz, he was looking for something familiar; something to connect him to his lost home from this large and unfamiliar planet. He hoped he would find something.

“That is not for me to say,  _ kochany _ ,” Matteusz sighed, pressing another kiss to Charlie’s head before returning to his previous position, “If there is something you need to talk about, then I will listen, but if not, I cannot give you that answer.”

“You’ve heard it all before,” Charlie replied, sighing in return.

“Tell me again.”

The words were soft, not as much a demand as they were a request. While he wanted to help Charlie, he wouldn’t force him to talk. If he really didn't want to, he would accept that.

A moment passed, and Matteusz had accepted the silence, but it was broken by Charlie.

“They're gone,” he said, voice quiet and sad, “all of them. Everyone I knew and everyone I loved are all gone, but I’m still here.”

“So, you...think you should have died, too?”  The idea filled Matteusz with a mixture of anxiety and sadness that he would rather not feel again. Maybe his life would have been a little safer, or a little easier, had he not met Charlie, but he didn’t think he would have been better off for it. He moved his free arm to wrap around the other’s waist, pressing against his stomach.

“A prince should fall with his people; he should lead them always, even into death,” said Charlie, trying to keep his tone steady. He was glad he couldn’t see Matteusz’s frown.

He did frown, pressing another kiss to the top of Charlie’s head, unsure of what else to do. For a moment, he was silent, going through thoughts and anxiety to try to come up with the right thing to say. Even if it wasn't right, he wanted to say something. Anything that didn't leave those words in the air.

“No,” he said after a minute, “it is not a prince’s duty to die. It is your duty to represent your people and keep the memory of them alive in your heart. You keep them living. Your death…” he sighed, shaking his head, “your death would have killed them completely. With your life, you honor them.”   
  With that he fell silent, and the words hung between them for a moment before Charlie replied, softly, “Do you really think so?”

“I do,” answered Matteusz, giving a small nod to emphasize. Though he would have told Charlie anything to convince him his death was not and never had been necessary, he meant what he said. He may have been biased, but he believed that there was value in Charlie’s life.

He nodded, and for another moment he was silent, before letting out a heavy sigh, “I shouldn’t be keeping you awake.”

“No more guilt, Charlie,” Matteusz replied, pulling away from Charlie after a moment to hold his face in his hands, finally tearing the other’s eyes away from the stars. “Charlie. Listen to me. I would not have come looking for you if I did not care, but I did, and I do, so you must stop with this guilt. These things happen, and when they do, I will be here for you because I want to be, and because I love you.”

Charlie, who, after a moment of internal struggle over the choice of this comfort against returning his gaze and thoughts to the stars, decided that maybe he had mourned enough for one night. While his heart still cried out for his people, his head knew that Matteusz was right. Without him, the people of Rhodia would be lost. He alone knew their history and culture, so now he would carry them with him. He would keep them alive.

“Matteusz…” Charlie exhaled, lifting a hand to rest over the other’s, “I think...I think I’m ready to go inside.”

Matteusz nodded, pressing a kiss to Charlie’s forehead. “Yes,” he said, “back to bed with you, space man.”

Then he stood, holding a hand out for Charlie to take, which he did after one last look at the stars. The pair then went inside, returning to bed through the darkness, which had lost the eeriness of before. With Charlie, even the dark seemed lighter.

They returned to their bed, where Matteusz, on his back, had an arm around Charlie, who had rested his head against the other’s chest. For a short while, there was only silence, but it was eventually broken by Charlie.

“Thank you, Matteusz.”

Tilting his head to look at the other, Matteusz rubbed his arm, “It is what I am here for,  _ kochany _ . Now, back to sleep.”

Charlie nodded, letting out a soft sigh. His eyelids were heavy, and he finally allowed them to close. Though the lives of his people still weighed on him, he took what Matteusz said to heart. He knew he meant what he said, and he knew he was right. He would allow himself to believe him, if only just for the night. If only just to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @enjamras  
> title from panic! at the disco


End file.
